Stress Academy Presents:

Web Series – The Story of Stress

Part 1 – Understanding Stress

Episode 20 – Introduction To Stress Resilience Technique (SRT)

Hello Friends, we have come a long way in this video series in terms of learning about the definition, origin, causes & stages of stress. Now, you may be wondering how we can leverage all this information to conquer and prevent stress? 

In video 17, we discussed the Contain-Reduce-Conquer-Prevent (CRCP) process to manage stress at a macro level. In this video, we are introducing a new technique called the Stress Resilience Technique (SRT), which helps manage stress at micro level in terms of specific passions. The SRT enables us to contain, reduce and conquer individual passions at the present moment. 

When we are under stress, it is quite common for us to react to the situation instinctively without proper judgment. In doing so, we forget to introspect, identify and resolve true intrinsic causes of stress. If the immediate outcome is favorable to us, we may only look at superficial causes and not care to address intrinsic aspects of stress at all and believe that we are no longer under stress. If the situation doesn’t improve, we become even more stressed. By acting this way, we often end up making irrational or inappropriate decisions that may not be in our best interests and that exacerbate our stress. 

What if we could get ourselves into a calm state before reacting to stressful situations? Don’t you think we could make constructive decisions in such a state? After all, not all situations in life require us to adopt a firefighting approach. With Stress Resilience Technique (SRT), we train ourselves to adopt a rational, structured and step-by-step contemplation process to eliminate stressful emotions and then search for ways to achieve more peaceful, well-reasoned and constructive outcomes.

The Seven Steps of SRT are:

1. Identification & Acknowledgment
2. Consequences
3. Intention
4. Responsibility
5. Causes
6. Contemplation
7. Constructive External Response

Stress Resilience Technique (SRT) – Step by Step Process

In the SRT, we first identify the passion that is being experienced at the moment. Once the passion is identified, we contain it by going through the next three steps of consequences, intention and responsibility. In the step of identifying causes, we analyze intrinsic root causes behind our passions. Gaining acceptance of intrinsic causes of stress helps us reduce the intensity of stress. From there, we enter in the step of contemplation, in which we seek to conquer and prevent the passions. Finally, we contemplate how to respond externally to achieve the most constructive and peaceful outcome of the situation we are in.

In order to understand this process better, let’s take a scenario of you being very angry with someone. 

The first step is Identification & Acknowledgment, in which we identify the type of passion by asking the following questions:

1. Identify the expression of this passion – Am I experiencing visibly angry behavior such as shouting, physical aggression, Irritation, Frustration, Hatred, Dislike, Complaints?
2. What type of passion is this? – Anger, Ego, Deceit, Greed, Grief, Fear, Disaffection, Disgust? – Here, I acknowledge this anger.
3. Is this Active, Dormant or Potential passion? – This is active anger.
4. Identify the person and situation towards which we are angry.

We move on to the next step only after thoroughly identifying the passion.

The second step is Consequences, in which we contemplate consequences of the identified passion from physical, social, emotional and spiritual points of views. 

Here, we reflect upon consequences of the anger:

1. From a Physical Perspective – My physical body is releasing several harmful hormones due to this anger that are dangerous for the heart and brain functions.
2. From a Psychological Perspective – The immense displeasure caused by this anger does not let me focus on the situation and hence divert me from finding a solution.
3. From a Social Perspective – This anger is capable of harming my relationship with my family and friends. 
4. From Spiritual Perspective – This anger is driving me away from experiencing my inherent state of happiness. My anger would lead to potentially harmful repercussions for myself in future.

Contemplating and visualizing these consequences enables us to form a strong intention to contain, reduce and conquer the passion. 

In the third step of Intentions, we seek to develop a strong intention to give up the passion, which is anger in this scenario. We do not let ourselves get distracted about trying to respond or solve external issues just yet. 

Now let’s form right intentions to conquer the anger:

1. I intend to find a constructive solution to this problem.
2. I intend to explore intrinsic causes of my anger and conquer it from within. 

After forming the intention, we move onto the fourth step of Responsibility. We need to realize that we are not responsible for the actions of others; but we are very much responsible for the passions we experience because of our own free will. We cannot make any progress in conquering the passion if we continue to blame others for our passions. In this step, we seek to take the sole responsibility for the passion we are experiencing instead of blaming it on the other person or situation. We can address our stress only if we take full responsibility for our own passions. 

Now let’s think who is responsible for my anger?

1. For the situation I am in, the other person’s actions are only an instrumental factor and not the primary cause. 
2. I am not responsible for what others did or did not do; however, I am angry because I have chosen to respond with anger.

Having taken responsibility for what we feel, we can next move onto the fifth step of identifying Causes of Stress. In this step, we contemplate upon the other underlying passions and wrong beliefs behind those passions. Going through this process of introspection results in a significant reduction in intensity of stress. 

So, what underlying expectations and wrong beliefs resulted in anger?

1. First identify underlying negative passions behind this anger – The real cause of anger is unfulfilled expectations! In this case, I expected the other person to behave or not behave in a certain way. While I may hope for them to behave in a certain way, it is not desirable to expect that they do what I wish.
2. If I am angry because the other person disrespected me then my ego is the underlying passion for my anger. If it is ego, then it is necessary to address it by following SRT for ego.
3. Socially we judge people as good and bad based on fulfillment of our expectations. However, from the perspective of my consciousness I am just a pure observer hence believing others as good or bad is my wrong belief of Indulgence (Bhoktrutva).
4. I also wrongly believe that I can control or dictate other’s behavior through my anger. Everyone is capable of exercising their own free will. I may desire for other people to act in a certain way; but it doesn’t guarantee that they will. This is my wrong belief of Doership (Kartrutva) 
5. Do I believe the anger is worth giving up? – It is understandable that I may feel angry in certain situations either due to lack of self-control or due to the urgency of the situation. But justifying anger as the response as opposed to being calm is a barrier to remain stress free.

Now having identified the underlying causes behind the passion, we are in a position to enter in the sixth step of Contemplation to conquer the passion. In this step, we first seek to eliminate wrong beliefs along with underlying passions and then embrace positive passion to conquer and prevent stress. We would specifically contemplate the nature of ourself as consciousness to achieve this goal.

Now, in this step of “contemplation”, let’s reflect upon correct beliefs to conquer and prevent anger:

1. My existence is not limited to this body, I am pure consciousness which is full of intrinsic happiness.
2. The ultimate identity of the other person is also pure consciousness and I view it as such. 
3. My nature as consciousness is to remain a neutral observer and not the one who is affected by this situation. Therefore, I don’t believe external events as good or bad to me. 
4. I am a neutral observer of all the events from past, present and future without any attachments or aversions. So, I choose not to impose my expectations over others. 
5. Forgiveness is the best remedy to heal this anger. I now choose to forgive.
6. May the other person forgive me for my resentful behavior.
7. I now choose to remain blissful in my awareness.

After going through this step, we should have conquered our anger from within. We should continue to repeat this step until we confirm overcoming all the resentment.

At this point, we can enter into the last step of the SRT, which is Constructive External Response. Our goal is to achieve a well-reasoned and constructive outcome to the extent possible in a given situation. Before approaching this step, we must keep in mind that we can only make the best attempt to achieve this goal but cannot guarantee the end outcome and cannot always expect the other person to reciprocate or cooperate. Before approaching the other person, try to understand what just happened, why it happened and why the other person did what he did. 

Let’s ask ourselves following questions and contemplate over each of them for this example of anger:

1. Am I currently in a calm and neutral mindset? Move to the next question only after you answer ‘yes’ to this question.
2. Have I completely heard the other person’s perspective?
3. Is the other person really at fault? Are there any misunderstandings?
4. Am I expecting too much?
5. Can I apologize for my resentful behavior?
6. Is it practical or advisable for me to let go of my preferences?
7. If I cannot let it go, what outcome do I want to achieve? And Why?
8. Can I think of any mutually acceptable solutions or arrangements?
9. How can I convey this in a peaceful and constructive manner?
10. Can I remain calm and neutral even if the other person doesn’t cooperate or listen to me?

There are no fixed set of right or wrong answers to these questions. They allow us to be more systematic in finding the constructive outcome when contemplated with a neutral mindset. Once we have contemplated all these questions, we can then be ready to initiate a conversation with the other person. It is best to initiate the conversation with apology for resentful behavior and then stating the intention to engage in finding mutually acceptable solutions. Such an approach maximizes our chances for constructive and peaceful outcomes. It is important to be patient and be ready to accept the situation even if mutually acceptable settlement is not found. If we can be calm and constructive, eventually we can find the best possible and practical solution to this situation.

To help you practice SRT, the Stress Academy periodically releases various guided SRT contemplations for a wide range of emotions and situations.